5 Pre Teen Tips to include in your Parenting Resources
At The Parenting Team, we hold the motto that parenting is a team effort. We offer guidance and parenting resources to parents who are seeking parenting advice. We emphasise the importance of “teamwork” with parents when it comes to raising their children.
An area of concern and perplexity for many parents is how to handle their pre-teen. We have found 5 key parenting tips for pre teens that have proven to be an invaluable parenting resource.
Pre Teens are young children aged 9 – 12 and during these years, the children experience numerous changes: their social lives evolve and social pressures appear; they become more involved in school; their hormone levels rise and puberty begins. Pre Teens are also exposed to a vast amount of social media platforms that largely impacts their behaviour.
5 Parenting Tips for Pre Teens
1. Balance authority with trust and understanding
- Establish authority while maintaining trust and understanding. Therefore, when implementing rules or making decisions, explain to your child why you have made your decision.
- Allow your child to reason with you, but do not allow every decision to be a negotiation. You are ultimately in authority and your child will be more willing to accept this if you provide valid reasons for your decisions.
2. Remain involved and interested
- Remain actively involved in your child’s life and maintain open lines of communication.
- Balance family time and friends time. It is important to stay connected to your child and to engage in family activities such as family dinners, but it is also important to allow time for your child to socialise with friends.
- Take an interest in your child’s interests. For example, watch what they are watching, support their sports match or chaperone a school outing.
3. Prepare your child for peer pressure
- Encourage your child to be introspective and to develop a strong identity.
- Encourage your child to be proud and comfortable within their own sense of self. This will help build their self-esteem as well as strengthen a buffer against peer pressure.
- Support your child in their interests and let them know that you love them and that you are interested in what interests them. This support can prevent the child from seeking acceptance elsewhere.
4. Effective Punishment
- Be clear with your rules, expectations and limitations.
- Positive reinforcement also often works well. Instead of telling the child to stop their behaviour or reprimanding their bad behaviour, explain to them how they should handle the situation differently. Pointing out what behaviour they should be using and why can often be more effective than simply telling them to stop.
- Stand by your rules. Being consistent establishes your boundaries.
5. Don’t take it personally
- Do not take your child’s outbursts personally – it is not about you. It is about them, their tangled emotions and their difficulty to regulate and control these emotions.
- When you take it personally, you get upset and it results in you either lashing out, closing off or both.
- Think through how to respond in a calm and constructive manner. Therefore, act out of love and not anger.
The above article contains general information on the topic of which it was written. Some statements and/or suggestions contained within may apply to you, while others may not. For information and guidance on a personalized, individualized question and answer approach formatted just for you, please visit our parenting questions service page.